Christmas tree is up and my 5-year-old constantly gasps every time she takes out each Christmas ornament from the box. Everything seems to bring memories from the past and she wonders at each and every one as if she’s never seen them before. She is too cute for words and my husband and I constantly share looks that say, “Can’t believe we are so blessed with so much.” But I don’t have to pinch myself to know this is my life. I have my loving husband and two beautiful girls to remind me and they are just the beginning of God’s endless blessings in my life.
And then I search…search for the one ornament that is the most precious to me. I go through the entire ornament box and stir everything in it to find the tiny little heart-shaped crystal. The memory from now almost 2 years ago rushes back to me and I get a little dizzy.
That is what’s written inside. We called him Little Wiggles because he wiggled so much in my womb. My son, my baby, who never got to share the joy of everyday wonders and giggles with this silly but beautiful family. And for that, my heart aches. As I hang the crystal on the tree, I thank God for the day I’ll finally get to see him and get to know him forever. How I’ll rejoice watching my two girls telling their brother all about their silly parents… And I tear up, thanking God for this moment to remember our Little Wiggles and for the hope I have in Christ. I feel a warm embrace from my husband and we say nothing to each other but know what each other is thinking. And I’m thankful that we can share without having to use words.
Pain of loss never goes away unfortunately but because of His promises, unbearable things become bearable and in the end, the pain turns into hope and thanksgiving. And my thanksgiving list goes on yet another day.
“All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.” (2 Corinthians 4:15)
“They reeled and staggered like drunkards;they were at their wits’ end. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind.” (Psalm 107: 27-31)