“Mommy.” She said it and I knew. She was mine. I was captivated. Because Mommy is forever. It’s such a powerful name. Mommy means “I trust you.” Mommy means “You will protect me.” Mommy is for shouting when you need someone dependable and for laughing with when you are excited. Mommy is for crying on and cuddling with when you are sad of giggling and hiding behind when you are embarrassed. Mommy is the fixer of boo-boos and the mender of broken hearts. Mommy is a comfort place, a safe place. Mommy means you are mine and I am your forever and we are family. –from Kisses From Katie–
And I break down. I needed that tonight and God knew exactly what I needed to hear and He spoke to me through a young beautiful lady who is a Mommy to many orphan children in Uganda. She was a mere teenager when she became a Mommy and she does it because she loves God. No, she doesn’t paint a fairytale picture of who she is or what she’s doing as a Mommy. In fact, it’s extremely hard and sometimes brutal. But she does it because she loves God and God loves her. I break down because I love God too and because I know He feels the same about me, significantly more than I Him, which I will never understand. I break down because somehow in the midst of my daily craziness, I lost a sight of Him. However brief that was, it does not matter. A minute or even a second away from God is painful and I don’t want to go anywhere without Him.
I think of my two beautiful girls, both asleep in their rooms now and think of their bright smiles they showed me throughout the day. All they wanted today was for me to be with them and sit with them and instead I chose to do the dishes, clean the floors and sweep the fallen leaves. But each time I looked up, they were smiling brightly at me. They wanted Mommy and I chose the worldly things over them. And for that, I was sorry.
I kissed boo-boos on Chloe’s hands that she got while playing in the backyard and spoke loving and comforting words to Bella during our Bible time at night. Of course, I didn’t have to fix their boo-boos and mend their broken hearts if I chose them in the first place. But then I remember the truth and how I was found and healed through my faith. So with God’s grace, I choose not to listen to the lies and instead kneel down to my Father and confess. I know He will fix my boo-boos and mend my broken heart. I know He is forever and He is mine and I, His. The greatest truth that comforts me the most is that I don’t ever have to doubt that He will and always will choose me.
God is my father and I trust Him. And He is forever and I am His. And I can’t wait for the day where there will be no more boo-boos and broken hearts.