“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” -1 Corinthians 13:4-8
God is love. Agape. Divine love.
It seems so simple yet it is extremely hard to put into practice. Why is that? And I know the answer. It is not meant to be. It is not meant to be easy for me to do it alone. And I whisper to myself; it is for His glory, my Father. The One and Only. And then I remember. My job is to follow and obey and out of my obedience, it is possible and God expresses His agape through me to others.
I recite the verses on love out loud over and over, hoping that I would somehow bless myself by pouring those words over me so that I can be transformed to express God’s agape more freely and naturally. And then I cry. Because right then and there, God inserted one of the most beautiful pictures of His agape right in front of my eyes. I looked up and there she was. God’s agape in person….
God is love and I want to be that love for my tiny blessings, my darling girls, just like God is for me. I want to be that love for my half, my man. And I want to be that love for all God’s children.
And yet, I can’t do it because I’m not enough. I will never be enough. So I call on Him. I ask Him to do what He does best. I lay down my cross with the 3 Ws; God’s Will on the top of my cross, His Words spoken through Jesus on the left of the cross and His Way through Holy Spirit on the right of the cross…and I don’t forget to draw myself on the cross. Because if I’m not in the picture, then this whole thing is in vain, at least for my sake. So I put myself in the bottom of the cross wearing my obedience on my neck because all I have to do indeed is to follow Him and obey what He already laid down for me. How easy He made it for me. All I have to do is to call on Him and hold on to Him tight. And I know and feel it again. He must indeed love me. He covers me from head to toe with His perfect love. I never get tired of saying that.
I haven’t been afraid of anything in a long time since the day He broke me free from all my blood-stained chains. I hardly see my wounds from the chains any more except, yes, there are scars…beautiful scars that marked my body and I know that God’s perfect love is behind all of them. He himself forgave and forgot but He wanted me to remember always; not the things that bounded me and kept me away from Him but what set me free and draw me to Him…His perfect love, His agape. How can I not love Him? How can I ever imagine my life without Him?
I cry. Very often these days but they are tears of joy because my heart is full. I know God wanted to add more joy this morning to my heart that is already overflowing by inserting little picture of my littlest joy, Chloe bear, in the midst of His words. And I don’t dare to say no. I will never say ‘no more’ to His perfect love. Not now even when I’m full and not E.V.E.R.