For the first time since we found out that we are expecting, my husband and I had a good doctor’s visit last Friday that washed away our worries for the past 4 weeks and oh, how I praised our God for it….
I still remember last January when we had to say good-bye to our little baby boy of 12 weeks. We had so much hopes and dreams for that baby and when he was taken away from us, my heart was torn away with him. The wonderful thing that happened through that tragedy was that both my husband and I stood firm in our faith and praised God through it, which was beyond our understanding and power I must say. I believe He held on tight to both of us not to fall or despair and we mad it through. After few months of mourning and resting, we tried again to get pregnant but we didn’t succeed. I remember telling my husband around Christmas time last year, ‘Maybe God will give us another baby before last year’s miscarriage date so that he can wash away our sorrow and replace it joy and happiness.’ And that He did…. January came and I saw two pink lines in my home pregnancy test (more like four tests just to make sure! *^^*) and Peter kept saying, ‘Really?’ when I told him the news. God is indeed so good….
However, when I started to experience the similar problems with this pregnancy as last one, I got worried. I kept losing my focus and tried to control things myself, which we all know is just useless way to deal with any situation. However, even my time of doubting and not hoping, God would throw His words at me from all sides through Bible, sermons and many people around me and God constantly made me come back…to Him, where I belonged.
And then last Friday, the baby “waved” at us. Peter was saying, ‘Look! He’s waving at us and telling us it’ll be alright!’ I’m pretty sure God felt sorry for me and decided to give me a sign of hope. And I felt bad for not trusting Him completely, even for a short period of time, and I was grateful.
God has plans for us to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future…. I have no idea what they are, which is the scary part. But whatever happens, I pray that God will glorify Himself through everything I go through and that His name will be lifted high!!
Abi, Apopka: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV
It drew such a vivid imagery in my mind and I just wanted to hold my child and pray over her then and there. I couldn’t imagine the devil roaring around my little precious daughter trying to devour her. The sad thing is, that’s exactly what he’s doing everyday and I can’t do anything about it in this world. However, I do have a powerful weapon of prayer with God on my side (Thank you, Jesus indeed!) that keeps me alert and of sober mind and with that, I can be at peace. Like my little girl recites often, “I will fear no evil, for you (God) are with me” (Psalm 23:4).